You duck, thinking: “Ha ha, that won’t work here, pixel man.” But oh no. Super-duper finishing move: Throws his rapier directly at you. Super-duper finishing move: Distracts his enemies with a noodling folksy anecdote before unleashing upon them a very tired dog. Him from Kentucky Route Zero with the phantom leg Super-duper finishing move: Cries on you with such childlike ferocity that you tumble backwards, off the edge of the stage, and into a slow-moving river of poop. Super-duper finishing move: Limps towards you, stumbles, falls, grabs you by the legs, bashes your ankle with a fist-sized rock, tries to get upright, falls, brings you down with him, scrabbles to get you in a headlock, reaches desperately for a glass bottle, gets knocked off balance and crushes bottle under his own hand, bleeds heavily all over your face, finally strangles you with the lace from his only shoe. When the meter is full, the Janitor triggers the ultimate soapy bucket and mops you out of existence. Super-duper finishing move: A meter is charged by mopping up blood during the fight. Then smashes stabs you in the legs shouting: “It’s not a proper crime!” Janitor from Viscera Cleanup Detail
Super-duper finishing move: Wobbles his arms about with a howl of excited laughter. The whole sequence is narrated by Bennett Foddy. Super-duper finishing move: Slams you on top of the skull with his hammer and launches himself into low orbit, goes round the earth once and then falls back exactly where he started, crushing you beneath the cauldron. The man stuck in the cauldron from Getting Over It Super-duper finishing move: Pushes you into an alley the size of an old caravan, grabs the game’s camera and beats you to death with it. But it does raise the question: who else deserves a place on the stage of history? I asked the RPS treehouse who they’d like to see. Which makes sense given the close business ties between the Polish studio and Japanese publisher Namco Bandai. Some have asserted that he'll be a guest character in upcoming fighting game Soul Calibur VI. The monster-hunting swordsman will “make an appearance” in another game later this year, according to CD Projekt Red community lead Marcin Momot. It’s Geralt of Rivia, hero of popular Gwent spin-off, The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. The locals call it “hope.” Amid this sticky cloud, a figure has formed.
This is Brendan, broadcasting live from rumour world, where everything is made of a nebulous candy floss-like substance.
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